As your parent ages, they may become more irritable and difficult to deal with. Unfortunately, this can sometimes manifest as verbal abuse towards you and other loved ones caring for them. While challenging, understanding how and why this verbally abusive behavior occurs can help deepen your relationship with your parent and give them the best care possible.
Why Seniors Might Become Verbally Abusive
Older adults might begin to be verbally abusive towards their loved ones for a number of reasons. These can include:
- Frustration with physical limitations – As people age, they may experience physical limitations that can be frustrating and lead to feelings of helplessness.
- Cognitive decline – Dementia and other cognitive impairments can cause confusion and disorientation, leading to verbal outbursts or nasty comments.
- Loss of independence – Seniors may resent the fact that they need help from others and act in harmful ways towards people trying to help them with the tasks they once completed by themselves.
- Mental health issues – Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can cause irritability and easily agitated behavior, compounding any of the previously discussed points.
How to Address The Issue
It is crucial to address verbal abuse from elderly parents as soon as possible. When breaching the topic, try to remain calm. It can be difficult not to react emotionally to verbal abuse, but it is vital to keep a level head and avoid escalating the situation whenever possible. Remember, memory issues and other health factors might be causing your loved one to make these outbursts without a clear mind.
Next, you need to make it absolutely clear that abusive language will not be tolerated and set boundaries for what behavior is acceptable. Letting abusive behaviors go unaddressed will not solve the problem. The first step should always be to let the loved one in your life know this behavior is unacceptable before trying to change how they act.
How to Help Elderly Parents Who Are Verbally Abusive
Dealing with verbal abuse from elderly parents can be challenging, but there are things you can do to help them break the habit:
- Show empathy – Try to understand where your parents are coming from and show compassion for their situation. During this discussion, you may learn more about the root cause of their actions and discover the best ways to help them.
- Encourage them to socialize – Isolation can exacerbate negative emotions, so encourage your parents to socialize and stay active.
- Seek medical help: If you suspect a medical issue is causing your parents’ behavior, encourage them to see a doctor or make arrangements with staff members of their assisted living facility.
The Role of Assisted Living Facilities
An assisted living facility may be the best option for elderly parents that lash out at others. These facilities provide round-the-clock care and support tailored to each individual and encourage healthy behaviors. Assisted living facilities maximize the independence of their residents while still keeping them safe and secure. Additionally, participating in activities, exercise, and friendships with other community members can help seniors combat feelings of isolation.
Dealing with verbal abuse from elderly parents can be an emotional experience. However, frank discussions about abusive behavior can help you identify the problems plaguing your loved one’s life and ensure they receive the care and support they need, no matter what form it takes.
A Banyan Residence is committed to compassionate and expert care for seniors in the Venice area. Contact us today for more information or a tour of our facility.
